>> thank you for joining us. that's it for five. see you monday. thank you for watching. have a happy easter and passov welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld, or as i am known to the "sex and the city" fan club, president miranda division. meetings weekly at. apartment and no ladies allowed. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> attention all planets of the federation. we have control. should a transgender woman be allowed to enter the miss universe competition? the shocking story that will give you a lump in your throat. and jones, a useful idiot or hateful demi god could it be both? and does fast-food lead to depression? some say yes and some say no. through our tears and mcnuggets we say no. greg? >> thank you, andy.
before i go, i have great news. >> yes, sir. >> you know who is in town? >> who. >> baron toutenburg. he is in town for drinks, andy. >> greg, look, here is the deal. it is a little something i do on the left coast. and he is not in town. >> he is in town. we are going to 21. he wanted to meet for drinks. >> you understand this is my alter ego. this is my left coast alter ego. >> i you can tayed to him and he didn't mention you. >> he doesn't know it is me. >> he is real. you sir are your alter -- dash alter ego. >> she is hotter than a jalapeno covered in tabasco and stuffed in a volcano. i am here with -- what does that sigh? when -- what does that say?
it is jedediah bila. and she knows business knews like i know jimmy choo's. it is liz mcdonald, stocked for. and he thinks gay mcthrowns is something you play this a bathroom. it is my sidekick, bill shuldz schulz. and if he was a tea cup at disneyland, i would ride him until i throw up. and his profits sink because ties op ed stinks. good to see you, pinch. >> he is pushing to sharply restrict the amsterdam coffee shops and prohibit the sale of the drugs to nonresidents. you are doing something here, man. the outlook is uncool. they lead the reaper madness, by gum. >> interesting point. while i was doing the interest
duckses, a woman walked into our studio with what three young children. if you noticed when they you can walked out when i did your inter disux. your introduction. >> you shouldn't bring kids in while we are taping "red eye." >> you should not do the introductions before they can see the nice puppet. who is bringing -- how old were those kids? >> very young. they just all scooted out. >> well they should have. >> nobody is watching the door here. nobody is watching the door. pat still ruled the universe if she had a wallet instead of a purse. they will most likely allow jenna to compete in the canadian semifinals after she was a he. she is delightful. the head of the miss universe says the 22-year-old did
thought meet the requirements after learning about her y chromosome past. on monday donald trump's pageant said she could compete if she meets the recognition requirements. shockingly, none was good enough for her attorney gloria allred who said, quote, jenna did not ask mr. trump that she is really a man. we need a clear answer and not a wishy washy type of answer. that didn't make sense. when jenna was rejected by ms. universe she said, disqualified for being born? really? the over use of the word really gets me mad. story of my life. all re d has moved on to represent lounge kitty in the lawsuit against his owners.
>> not the way you use a chair, but who will stop lounge kitty 1234* not me. a big fan. anthony, are you a pageant winner. what is your take on this? why is this a big hullabalou? >> i don't think it is really. if it was on "toddlers and tierra" it would be a hullabalou. ms. universe -- this might be outrageous if it was the 50s. but have you heard of anything called the internet? there are stuff where i have seen some transgender people enter something more outrageous than a contest. one might say your winnebago down by the overpass. >> when they let a goat compete, let me know.
>> is this a victory? i am torn. i am glad she is in, but i don't -- it is her association with gloria allred that sours it. for her to say look donald trump you have to show your anatomy because she had to show hers. that's weird. if you want to file a suit hire gloria allred. but she is showing up everywhere. >> i think there are 16 of them. i think i am hiring one to sue her, but i don't think that is a weird thing i was thinking about when i was uh lowing and crying. i think this is a happy ending for everyone. >> she has the hormones. how do we define them? let's say she is in and she wins. maybe she would be the first transgender -- >> who watches miss canada universe anyway?
>> they have "america's next top model" and it is allowed on a number of arenas. liz the question you have raised is a question i should have asked in the beginning with my pinky out like this. this is my way of looking pho cyst indicated. maybe this was a stroke of trump genius that it was created so people look at something that maybe they wouldn't have wopped wopped -- watched before. >> do you remember if you entered the miss or mr. that would have broken down barriers. >> are you going to hire gloria allred. i will be the one to say it, this is one fine piece of transgender tail. there is no one on this table that would be like, that would fool me. she now has boyfriends i guarantee you that were watching tv and like, what?
no clue. >> given the choice between her and gloria allred there is a no brainer. >> this is not some contest between attractiveness. wait, it is. that's ms. universe. i am an idiot. >> i don't think this is an unfair thing for the other women because there is no feets of strength. renee richards -- am i that old? he was named richard ras ky n and was renee richard, but wasn't a best tennis player, but better than a lot of women because she had more testosterone and very big feet. >> i used to play under the name of billy gene king and nobody ever now. >> but that was in twister. >> the transgender issue, it is like the bullying with
gloria allred. >> you have to apologize because it is illegal action? >> isn't it amazing you can sympathize and then you hate them. >> it is demanding that you apologize even when it is clear you don't feel sorry. what good is that apology? you would know that. >> i had to apologize a few times with no sincerity. it sounds sincere. >> that is true. when she was at the press conference i was like, she looks sad. when they did the whole thing with gloria allred i said she looks smug. gloria needs to step to the right. >> love the red pant suits. >> how better suits. >> she can pull it off. from brew tee to budget. does trickle down make him frown? president obama is blasting the gop budget plan calling it thinly failed social darwinism that would be in a race.
they say they cannot afford to endorse a republican. and the blueprint is awesome times 12. i wonder if this budget something different altogether 1234* is it a trojan horse? >> this budget is something different altogether. it is a trojan horse. disguised as deficit reduction plans it is an attempt to impose a radical vision on our i country. it is thinly veiled social darwinism. >> sure. is it am paw thet cal to our history in the land of opportunity and mobile tee of everyone willing to work with it? >> it goes as a land of opportunity and everyone in -- willing to work for it. a place prosperity doesn't trickle down from the top, but
grows out from the middle class. >> that guy should be president. obama took a jab at mitt's vocab. >> he says he is very supportive of the new budget. he even colds it marvelous which is a word you don't hear when it comes to describing a budget. it is a word you don't hear generally. >> okay i put the word extraordinary in front of every word obama. you know what else is extraordinary? this. >> i thought that was going to end tragically. >> i was waiting for something that didn't happen jie. that
michael moore is so talented. >> only cost $25 million. jedediah, is it too late to explain the concept of opportunity to a starbucks socialist like president obama. >> yes, it is too late. he is not going to get it. class warfare is the only thing he knows. it is the only way he will get re-elected. to fight the fact that all of the policies hurt the middle class, upper class and everyone in between. this is what he knows and this is what he is about. we already had paul ryan and they were showing videos of them throwing elderly people off the cliff. >> he was president -- was vent vent -- wasn't really throwing them off. dis, the gop plan calls for $5. trillion in spending cuts. is that a radical vision as our president obama socialist says. they are adding $5 trillion to
the deficit in four years which is twice the rise of size of france. this is leading from behind. what the president is not doing is radical. you know, it is easy to spend money. it is really easy to spend your own -- other people money to fix problems. if you give me 50 billion bucks you will see dog food stores or beauty salons go up. their profits go up. this tedious orgy of self-righteousness is ridiculous. >> i have to ask though, if you have all of this money wouldn't you stop eating dog food? i would stop eating my kitty food. >> i would buy it for my dog, my poodle. >> bill, just because you eat dog foot food doesn't mean everybody else is. >> i would like to express my own brilliance. what exactly is wrong with
social darwinism. obama is criticizing the plan as social darwinism. aren't they supposed to be pro science? aren't they supposed to be social darwinism. >> i think that was the pint he was getting at. i read the story five times and i don't know what dom niche is. all i care about is these economic times is how can i heat my pool to 92 degrees in the summer on my money? >> see you won. the point is the winners are no longer admired or you think to become a winner and you don't just go, i don't want him to have that pool. >> as far as social darwinism goes, i am the one erect? >> you are the one standing tall. >> well, we had a little help in the other departments. that is social farm out cals.
-- pharmaceuticals. the bar bar bill, the starbuck socialist, known as president obama, called the plan a gop horse. knots certain the trojans had big horses so it was a compliment. >> the horses were ripped for our pleasure. >> i haven't read anything that proves the rick kill down works a all. the rich have gotten richer but there is worse and worse medical class. >> it would actually take an hour. >> the bosser tee rates declined under regan. the mid-december claying did better. unemployment decreased. those are not staw stick particular cal -- statistical tracks. >> the issue is we have got the flat line gdp growth. it is flat lining. and so under this president.
dc would not know a payroll if it ran over them and then ran back over them. we have a government that is telling businesses how to run their show. >> here is the thing. obsessing over classes is over looking the mobile tee of said classes. >> this is important. from 1996 2005 the upper brackets 56% fell down into the lower bracket cets. the rich don't start out life on third base. >> that's what i am saying. that's the point i was trying to make. >> and you guys are supposed to be the parting of words. trickle down sounds disgusting. >> you just don't understand. it is called trickle down and not poor down. it was very slow. >> what would dwop -- don imus have to say about that?
>> i don't know. i'm sorry i said that. >> we have to move on. it is time for our new art auction. we have a special piece of art, cree ated by bosh foxtin. it is awesome you can check out more of his work at boston . blog spot.com. it is up no the corner i think. to win this make a bid. e-mail red eye at fox news.com. all of the money for the highest bid goes for the trust fund for andrew breitbart. we got $1200 from a lovely lat named jenni. eats a see if anybody can top that. let's do better. if you want to make a donation. checks or money orders can be sent to breitbart's trust, 149, number 735, los angeles, california, 92049.
they say they are patriots, but they hate everybody in america who looks like us. they say they love america, but they hate the people, the brown folk and the gays and the lesbians and the people with all of these piercings and tattoo, y'all. when they say they love america they don't mean you, and they don't mean me. >> those words were not surprising or kind to me. not a lot of applause. they made the comment at the all in 99%, a rally by move on .org. others feature speeches from such as edward norton and val kilmer, kilmer. when ask asked if president obama would lose some of the black vote he said laughingly, if president obama came out as gay he would not lose the black vote. president obama will not lose the black vote no matter what
he does. so i better you wonder what a scared kitty thinks of all of this. >> i don't think that is right, but i can't stop looking at it. the kitten is scared of the blow dryer. >> my theory is he was about to hug the blow dryer. >> liz, doesn't he have this all backwards? libertarian s who vote for a gay president. obama supporters probably wouldn't. >> i don't know about the last. joy he is say -- he said that blacks would vote for obama no matter what. they are conservative and might not vote for a gay president. >> it was clearly an elbow shot to gay people.
that was nasty. for ed norton say he is the dalai lama, i never heard remarks such as this. this is complete -- i mean this guy has an iq of below room temperature clearly. that's a good point. i question the comparison. i always maintained that the dalai lama is not that bright. >> i never say anything. it is love people. breathe. these books are loving people and breathe. >> tire so many cliche. it is a good point. he was able to insult blacks and gleys. gays. a left whippinger can do that. >> he is a shock jock. he is committing shock jock re. it is ridiculous. but i agree with them on the fact that i think obama could not possibly lose the black
vote. you hear about guys on the dl sometimes and he would pick up that if he went to -- >> you mean what is that -- is that a baseball term? jedediah, what does he have against libertarians ? >> i don't think he know what's it means. libertarians are some of the most fierce defenders of gay rights. it is just chilling that he has no idea what he is talking about. i guess he thought liberty and associated that with conservatives. then conservatives hate black people and has stereo types. in the clip you can see him say bye. >> as a hate filled sequential huh maf raw diet, does me speak for you? >> yes. but are you not doing the math on this. even though this guy was a
nonentity in an administration, probably never had a conversation who got him removed from office? glen beck. what does glen claim to be? a libertarian. i don't think so, but he claims it. he doesn't know what it is. he is angry. >> he has a vendetta. >> i like how they name the show "the audience." >> i don't think he was the main speaker. i heard a lot of silverware and eating. i have been there. >> they were passionate about him. >> you can hear the air conditioner clicking. >> that's why when i speak i am only going to be the main speaker when you request me to speak and it is between dinner and desert. and then you take me out for drinks and i hang outweigh too long and you refuse to take
you home. then you say, we thought it was a good idea and why are you looking at my mom like that? you know i am looking at your mom. e ill mas or leave a voicemail 212-462-5050. still to of could, the half time report from baron's good friend tv's andy levy. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by the car plane, the new dutch invention capable of the land and air travel offering freedom and mobile tee. thanks car plane.
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welcome back. let's find out if we have gotten anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. did any kids come and visit you while you were at work? >> i'm sorry about my kids wandering into the studio at the top of the show. i asked them to stay quiet leaving the green room. >> they heard things they shouldn't have heard. joy i know. i am going to lose my sponsorship. >> i know you are. >> not cool. >> you will have to give up your racing stripe. >> yep. >> i don't know what that is. >> i don't either. >> trans transgender woman to enter the miss america pageant. kudos to donald trump. it is a true victory for transgender rights. >> you would be treated like
other hot women. jay you said this might have been outrageous in the 50s, but with the internets you have seen transgendered people entering other things. i hacked into your computer and you really have. i will never be the same. >> well enjoy it. >> for the record, i did not enjoy it. >> andy, you do know that anthony is a huge supporter of transgender rights, and he is always on the lookout for any troubled individual he can reach out to and help. we should absolute him in that. instead of making fun of him, thank you. >> and the ones wearing clothes don't need your money. it is the poverished naked ones. >> elizabeth, i'm with you. i don't understand the line of questioning.
they need proof and didn't ask him to show his anatomy. he is not competing. it is like baseball players saying bud selig needs to be tested for steroids. >> why did it go there? why did gloria allred bring it there? >> donald trump tells tmz he thinks gloria allred will be impressed with his penis. he said it is classy. >> i made up the classy part, but the first part was real. >> i can hear trump saying, she is very impressed. >> he said i think she would be very impressed. jedediah, you said trump want an apology in. >> i have a short-term message. trump says he is not apologizing for initially disqualifying her and he couldn't careless if she
competes in the paneling interest or not. >> trumpish. >> very trumpish. >> greg, you said obama noted that his future is awesome times 12. they were not his exact words. >> really? >> i don't know where you are getting your quotes from. i don't know if the dream therapy is helping you. >> you know what it was. i was listening to obama talk while also one of my shows. >> you awesome times 12. >> with the kitty. >> sometimes i get confused. and social darwinism is not a science. it takes the principals of evolution, some call them the principals of evolution and apply them to cosh yolgs. >> you mean bunnies say that? >> exactly. >> bunnies can talk? >> you know what you get when
you take darwin out of social darwinism? socialism. >> well done, andy. well done. >> someone will make money off of that and it will not be me jie. it is going to be me. >> you have to give the president credit. he is turning into quite the demigog. >> i am proud of him. the last week was good. >> a new territory for him. >> the rest of the discussion involves statistics. >> it wasn't that it was boring. it is just not my thing. >> liz, you couldn't believe ed norton compared to the dalai lama. you never heard the llama say anything bigoted or hateful. >> i didn't even know the dalai lama drinks. >> he can drink.
>> he can put it away? >> doesn't like juice. >> he doesn't? who knew? >> i am making things up. >> you are making things up. joy probably things that can get me in trouble. >> i would say at this point you are joking. >> we are going to get a lot of placid e-mails. jedediah, you don't think jones knows what libertarian means. let me play devil ease's advocate. he starts off by saying the so-called libertarians. when he talked about hating brown people and gay is he talking phoner libertarians? >> i think you are trying to be fair and balanced and there is a time and place and this is no the it. you have to leave the fair and balanced stuff aside. >> the thing she said, if he believes that he is seriously stupid. >> he doesn't know what the word means. i think that was a great theory.
i actually find myself agreeing with bill which makes me uncomfortable. i think he is associating with tw glen beck. i hate him and i hate all libertarians and could give them a bad name. >> whatever you think about beck, i don't think he hates brown people. >> beck doesn't do anything. >> he just hates you, andy. >> all right. >> greg, you said is you don't think jones was the main speaker in the rally. i looked at the schedule. it looked like he was. >> how can you understand? we collectively are the speakers. that's a good poit. point. why was he using a microphone? why were they doing a mic check 1234* he didn't have to use a mic.
he could have said all of that. it sounds like they are not all in. >> they are not all in if they are using a microphone. if you go back to anthony ace history they are all in there. >> lastly, regarding the obama who came out as gay and used the vote thing. ultimately that was true. i was close to saying it at the end of the day. i said ultimately. exit polls found 70% of california's back voters propped the -- backed proposition 8. the gay marriage officials. they say it was more like 58%. i officially believe this is the reason why obama hasn't come out of gay marriage. >> this is all social darwinism, isn't it? >> the joke that dan made is
incorrect. if you are saying half of the blacks don't believe in gay marriage and he comes out for gay marriage he is in trouble. >> the thing is he will not lose the black vote. he will lose a portion of the black vote. >> a true libertarian would for go gay marriage. >> but president obama does not have the courage to do that. >> i agree with you. i think he is for bay marriage. i think he doesn't have the courage to come out and say it because he is afraid he will lose some of the black vote. >> and a lot of christians across the country. those that would have a possible with that -- a problem with that. >> don't ask, don't tell. >> are we done? i'm sure baron would not be pleased with the way this one ended. what can you expect?
can a drive threw order cause a -- drive-thru order cause mental disorder? it is spanish for who cares, and eating meals at places likes mcdonalds is linked to depression. surprised? anyway, researchers claim that junk food consumers are 51% more likely to develop it. the connection is so strong that, quote, the more fast-food you consume, the greater the risk of depression. now that's what i call science, the kind i would like to discuss occasionally because it is tasty . >> lightning roooouunnnnd.
lightning round. >> liz, could they have this backwards? depressed people eat more fast-food because it is so much more awesome? >> when i have eaten junk food, i love junk food it makes me want to stay home and watch history's ancient alien series. is that the one with joan rivers? >> everything but chootes -- cheat toes, that makes me happy. >> that's because the oranger your hands are the happier you are. from the institute of orange hands. don't you get depressed after eating fast-food because the fast-food is gone. >> and then are you like, that is the last bite.
they should give aside order of xanax. you finish up the last fry and you pop the xanax and feeling good. when you were a kid and you would enjoy say a magazine like "playboy" and then you would feel horrible. jedediah, you never did that. >> i never did that. >> the second my drink is empty it is like, my drink is empty. oh it is half empty. >> i saved time, jedediah. most home cooked meals make you feel good. fast-food is not made that way. could that be a reason? >> maybe. i have some experience and i can tell you what makes you depressed is healthy food. i was a veegan for six months. no dairy and no meat. i was a miserable, cranky person. when they say balanced diet
you need a little of everything. the vitamin deficiency that comes if that's all you eat. >> is that how you will dress as a sexy hamburglar. i have the handcuffs in the car. >> bill, you lived in an arby's dumpster for three years. were you depressed or happy you had a co swree bed and discarded guns. >> it was less on burgers and more on smack. but this story is absolutely true. i don't buy the fact that you are only unhappy after it is over with. you ever looked at yourself? you are probably in your sweats and you go back and get in line and you look at yourself and others and say i look like this. they know they will not hate themselves and they know immediately the feeling left by a sense of emptiness and burger sweat and everyone there is miserable.
but it is a drug and they can't help themselves. >> there would be more mirrors. >> it is great. i said we as if i own disok -- stock in the company. >> the billion of burgers, there is one thing if you ever notice and i talked about it on the show. i call it the eating phase. you know you are walking down 6th avenue and you see people eating who don't know you are botch -- watching them. and they -- their eyes are blind. they are seating and their eyes are like this. and you are walking by the glass window and they are like this. you are sitting there. >> they become pod people. it is like they have literally shut their eyes down, but they are not going to close their eyes because that would look weird. then you would get mugged if you are like this. they keep their eyes open for
protection. it is just to say don't take my purse or wallet because you probably could. i can't operate right now. don't you hate it when people interrupt you. when you are home and you have it all laid out. >> you are all set up. >> all set up and it is like somebody -- your mother calls and it has been awhile and -- it is like walking in on a woman redoing her make up. >> time to take a break. more stuff when we return.
nothing good to say about a harlequin. >> they are creepy. a new british study says more women -- or women are more likely to have beer goggles. i don't have to explain to you what beer goggles are. after getting the test subjects buzzed off vodka tonics and then asking them to rate face imagery. they say the consequences could be considerable. a lot of people met their partner when they were drunk and are their marriages shorter or longer lasting? does it change the nature of their relationship? shut up.
god i wish he would stop talking. wait, that was my voice. anthony i go to you first for no reason. could it be all of your relationships started because of beer goggles or her beer goggles and then she said, holy crap what happened? >> i depended on the beer goggle. >> you dated a one eyed woman? >> yes. i have taken girls for lasik so they have permanent beer goggles and never need to put them on. >> that's a great idea. you permanently can't tell if somebody is attractive. >> i have had great relationships from beer goggles but the thing is, you are right about the scientist thing and sim symetry and attractiveness and both sides of your face looking the same. when i have beer goggles, everything looks like a picasso. >> if you are a fan of
picasso. i want my lovers' faces to be melting. >> men are hideous. can you blame women for needing alcohol to gloss over their grotesque uh sage. >> i like the saw metra cal faces to begin with. i like crook cede or big nose or big ears. >> keep talking. >> i am a bad judge. but when i drink my judgment goes out the window. >> tabooed -- good to know. >> pure vodka. >> i would like to hear what they thought of benjamin franklin's face. >> bill, you needed to get drunk to sleep with yourself. can you blame yourself for wanting to be drunk when you sleep with yourself? and do you owe yourself an apology for having to get yourself drunk in order to sleep with yourself? >>- q. i my beer --
>> my beer goggles make it look less horrific. and sometimes my nightmares turn into sex dreams depending on the bad guy. i will say -- i don't understand the question of does meeting a person with beer goggles affect your marriage? are they implying you got this person drunk and kept them drunk down the aisle and then five crazy days later they sober up and realize what they have gotten into. >> i think it happened in the old days. >> they 1982. and again i go back to the reason for these studies. of course it is that researchers are lonely. it is their excuse to go to a bar. we did a test of vote catatonics and you are trying to write off your bar tab that were grossed out by you. like go home, dad. seriously. i so wish we were talking about harlequi nses. let's close things up with a
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the post game wrap up. >> jedediah, do you have a new column? >> yes. he has a new film cold "occupy unmask" staring andrew breitbart. it is fabulous. check it out. >> what is up with receiving christmas gift card to close the budget gap? >> chris chris stey is taking unused gift cards and possibly traveler's checks. he is scrownging around the seat cushions. >> i am try that tomorrow. >> do you have a special live from the compound tomorrow? >> we are going to throw the first prostitute in my pole.